


Is Death The End

by Tillymint



Category: Holby City
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:48:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22401325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tillymint/pseuds/Tillymint
Summary: Set a couple of years after Serena's last day at work.
Relationships: Serena Campbell & Bernie Wolfe, Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	Is Death The End

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea I had, not sure if I should continue, it was just something that was in my mind.   
> Does touch upon very lightly, mental health, grief, loss and death.

Coming in from the dark, something felt different. The house, complete in darkness, had an unusually heavy feeling. The air felt thick, full of uncertainty. Serena closed the front door and stood in complete silence, complete in darkness. She breathed in a deep breath and counted to ten. She had never known her house to feel like this, even in her darkest days of first losing Elinor and then losing Bernie. As she got to ten, she walked forward to put the hall light on. Something caught her eye in the distance, something outside in the kitchen window, Serena shook her head, her mind was playing tricks on her. She headed to the kitchen, turned on the lights, headed to the wine shelf and poured a glass of head. she sat herself at the kitchen table and just stared out the window, watching the blackness ahead of her. 

It had been two years since she had left her position at the hospital. Those two years had passed with a blur. It had taken months for her to lose the feeling of no longer belonging anywhere and just generally feeling lost. Everything she was and had achieved was at that hospital. Both her worst and best memories had been made there, but in the end everything she held close and dear was gone. She had lost her two favourite people there. Her only daughter, a silly accident after some stupid mistakes had cost her her life. Then her Bernie, she had not died at the hospital, however, Serena had found out about her death while she was there. She was not prepared for the feeling of emptiness that followed this, she knew things would be hard, especially after losing Elinor, but this loss was something completely different. 

She struggled more after losing Bernie, in fact, she felt her mental health decline a little, not enough that she needed professional help but she realised that she was becoming less fearful of her decisions, she wasn’t always thinking things through before acting. Serena thought back to her last couple of days when she was working, she had started a protest and ended up arrested and spent a night in the cells. She remembered thinking to herself, how much Bernie would have laughed and been proud of her, Serena had always been the sensible one, never doing anything to ruffle feathers that didn’t need to be. 

Still gazing out of the window, Serena thought she saw something again, she couldn’t make out the shape. Something dark appeared to be in her garden standing looking at her. She couldn’t make out any features and although it felt different in her house, she found that she wasn’t scared. Instead, she stood and shut the blinds, still not able to see what her eyes kept finding in the dark.   
It was only now, in her life that she was starting to process what happened and was coming to terms with being single and without her daughter, she was starting to find her place in the world again and did not want her mind to play any further tricks on her. She had come a long way in the last four months and did not want to regress. 

Grabbing her glass of wine, she headed upstairs to run a bath, putting music on as she went. She looked nothing more than relaxing in the bath with a glass of wine and music. She found that this was one of her favourite times of the day, her time where she allowed herself one memory of her life that had gone past and focused on that. She had come up with this coping strategy after Bernie died. When Elinor died, she had Bernie and she was encouraged to share the memories together, losing Bernie, Serena didn’t have anyone she could talk to, so she would talk to herself and allow her memories to take over. It always depended on what song was playing as to what memory Serena allowed herself to think of, tonight, Stand By Me, was the first song that played. That memory was easy, the awful day, Serena had tried to break up with her after Jason’s little girl was born, Serena didn’t focus too much on the breaking up, more of the conversation that they had in the reception of the hospital, with Bernie promising to wait for her. The memory filled her head, her emotions taking over, tears streaming down her face, silent tears, remembering a time when she held her in her arms, breathing in her scent and feeling her touch. With her eyes closed, she could almost feel and smell her now. As always, she wished that once her eyes were open Bernie would be sat there next to her, talking to her as she was in the bath. As usual, it was nothing more than a wishful dream. Each time she felt the pain of losing her again. 

She allowed herself another ten minutes before getting out and heading to her bedroom, she still let the music play in the background, she was unsure what was playing now, she couldn’t make out the song. As she headed to her window to close the curtains, that shadow in the garden was back. It hadn’t moved that she could tell. She noticed that rather than being stood, this shadow looked like it was sat at the bottom of the garden on her patio. 

She still didn’t feel scared, no idea where this sudden self confidence had come from, Serena pulled on some clothes and headed downstairs, she slipped on her coat and headed outside. She walked with purpose but silently. She left the lights off outside, for some reason she didn’t feel like she needed them. 

As she got closer, she realised that the figure was familiar, but still it just sat there, not speaking or moving. As Serena got even closer, she could hear their breathing was quicker than normal, but Serena herself felt calm. She reached her hand out and touched the figure sat before her. The icy feel didn’t make her shiver in fact she barely noticed that temperature. 

“How long have you been out here for?” Serena asked.

The figured turned and looked at her, tears falling down their face.

“I’m not sure, four or five hours” the familiar voice of Bernie’s son, Cameron, said.

Serena sat down beside him, still holding his hand. This hadn’t happened since his mother’s death; Cameron was close to Serena and they often spoke but he hadn’t been to her house in over a year, in the first few months, he would often turn up and just sit outstood. While Serena and Bernie were together, they would often entertain in the garden, having many a late night with family and friends with drinks on the patio. In the beginning Cameron had found this was the closest he felt to his mother, Serena although not wanting company was happy to have Cameron around in the first few months, although they rarely communicated, they knew they had the support of the other. 

She squeezed his hand for reassurance.

“She’s not dead” was all Cameron said.


End file.
